Money & Marriage! Part 1

It’s been said that money is the #1 cause of divorce. Or to say it another way–Marriage is about love, divorce is about money. To that we may add that money is the #1 cause of turmoil in a marriage. Strife over money can last years in a marriage if not properly addressed, and short of divorce, can drive a wedge between a husband and wife. This doesn’t have to be, and so here are two articles on fighting with your spouse over money:

1. Honestly examine your own attitudes about money:

We all have different views and attitudes about money–how it should be spent, saved, given and so on. Before discussing a difficult money issue with your spouse, honestly reexamine your approach and feelings about the issue. You may just find that you need to change as much or more than your spouse. And if not, it will better prepare you for an open-minded discussion when you do raise the issue.

2. Make sure you’ve identified the real issue:

Is the problem that your spouse just bought a $20,000 bass boat, or that they will be spending more time on the lake than with the family (or both)? Sometimes our feelings can play tricks on us, so it’s important to make sure we know exactly what the problem is before trying to solve it. This process may take some time, so it may be days or even weeks before you raise the issue.

3. Consider the place and time of the money discussion:

Money is a sensitive topic. Raising a difficult money issue as soon as your spouse walks in the door from a long day’s work or immediately after dealing with the kids is counter-productive. And raising the issue while the in-laws are in town is not a productive approach, either. If life is really crazy, agree in advance when you will sit down to discuss the money matter.

Otherwise, try to pick a moment when there are no distractions and you have the time to give the matter the attention it deserves. Check back tomorrow for the next installment! Have a tip? Email it to tips@beattherecession.com

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